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Full circle

 As the concerned resources say, you meet around eighty thousand people in your lifetime. And, they vary from place to place, person to person, and ideology to ideology. But, have you ever come across a situation, where you keep meeting the same person, in disguise? Different physicality, different mindset, but the exact freaking person on the inside? It breaks my heart honestly to know how God gives you signals of having good people around yourself. Sadly, even though God gave me enormous signals to keep peace around myself, God kept on sending that one person in disguise.

At this point I am so done, I want to seek blatant answers, why is it so difficult to accept and move on? Why is it so difficult to prioritize the right situation, each time? I know I have faults, I have my own share of unnegotiable mistakes in life, but, honestly, I cannot help it anymore. I get stuck with the wrong people, who fuck me up all over. Each time.

The one time I know of what I want and the direction I want to travel in, God brings my struggle full circle, to show how idiotic I played and fucked myself up all over. I always mess with the incorrect people. Who unfortunately seem to be the perfect ones.
It’s an inbuilt thing at this point. I mess up with the wrong set of personalities, get into it so deeply, that I end up hurting myself. And, this hurting is so fucking exhausting, so fucking heartbreaking, it breaks you down into pieces even you don’t know how to join back.

As much as I try and say I don’t give two shits about anyone, something clicks in me. Why do I always find the most wrong people the most correct ones? Why do my loved ones notice everything that I need in someone, who actually has nothing to give despite of having so much, all because It has been used on someone already?

I honestly now give up. Fully. I seriously don’t like competing with people over people. I feel like someone who is already invested in someone, cannot give you everything in the world. Some people are made for the world and not me. 

 

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